Mark Unread

Updated: May 25

A 21 years old Italian guy from #Pavia, scared about the future and living under lockdown. Slightly obese but with a lot of energy until recently.


3rd May 2020


Ever since the first contagions were discovered in Codogno, 39 kilometers away from where I live, I've never thought that I would have been part of the first western nation that would apply a nation-wide lockdown. Before that, the idea that my freedom of movement was limited was science fiction, as I got used to going outside for a stroll or to get ice cream or a hot coffee, and I was waiting for school to restart after Easter. I was excited. Most of the time I never went outside anyways, but more often than ever, I'd go outside and maybe go to the city center, just to remind myself that working is not everything. That changed ever since march the 8th. My mother always repeated to me, after the first reports that it would become a pandemic. I hoped it wouldn't have been the case, that maybe we were unlucky and our place was gonna get better over time. Never I would have thought that, in reality, it would have been the start of a disaster. A disaster that hit home this time around, quite literally. I remember crying at the announcement, and that while it is not rare for me, was a true cry of pain, of the thought that #Italy was going to crumble because of the emergency, and that my future was in heavy danger. Ever since that, things went downhill emotionally. What I thought would have been the best year for me, turned out to be a nightmare that I would not forget easily. I have never felt this tired in my entire life, from the stress that this panic gave me, to the stress of my school having online classes. The only thing that motivated me to study was gone overnight, as I would not see my friends and the teachers anymore. It didn't help that my mother works at the main hospital, too, and more often than never, I was scared to find myself with the virus, and I still am to this day. Long are gone the days when I would go outside to buy ice cream when I was exhausted by work and instead became a long wait in the supermarket in a queue that came out from a post-war era of people waiting for bread. Something I would have never hoped to see anywhere, rather alone in my hometown. Overnight, my life got into a cycle of awake up, work, eat, work, play and sleep, rather than the normal life of hanging out with friends and maybe watch a movie in a movie theatre. And my fear now is to live a life like this forever in the future, and I hope it will not become a sad reality of my generation, the generation that saw two economic crises, war, and pandemics in just ten years. The hope now relies on the future, where I hope the Italian society will get better, and maybe even unite with the other European countries to avoid any other pandemic. And I hope that one day tomorrow, I will be with my girlfriend in Prague, maybe traveling more and without fear of the virus.