A 28 year old, male ex prisoner. Released from one prison into another called Covid-19
22nd May 2020
Coming out of #prison is tough enough as it is being labelled an 'ex-con', it's even worse coming out during a global pandemic! The only people I've seen so far are the people I'm living with and it's driving me slightly crazy! Not only is society swerving me but so are my loved ones.
My days consist of job hunting, working on my blog, sitting in the sunshine on the back garden and watching TV. That sounds like a dream to some but I've just spent the last year in hell, I want more than anything to be able to go where I want and see who I want...
By the looks of it on the news today people are now starting to act as though the lock-down never happened! Groups of people sat on beaches and in parks. I can see this flaring up again in no time and spending another few months in these conditions... IDIOTS!
I'm actually quite looking forward to seeing if it does flare up so that people can realise how selfish they have been. Why are humans so selfish?
And on that note I will bid you a happy Friday people!
26th May 2020
So the #BankHoliday weekend started with a bang! I bagged myself an interview for a Retail Supervisor position with a company that interested me greatly. Retail is all I have known for the last 9 years and prior to my silly mistake I was a Store Manager for a very well known footwear retailer.
Anyway, the weekend was spent with a belly full of butterflies! Both nerves and excitement a 50/50 split.
It's not the interview that scares me, it's the disclosure of my conviction. It's like a 12 foot hurdle that I must jump solo every time. As soon as you mention that you have an unspent conviction it's usually game over and that fear consumes me at the moment.
Bank holiday Monday came along... I smashed the interview and I left the store feeling like I had the job in the bag. I disclosed my conviction flawlessly and really gelled with the Store Manager. Surely the job is mine?
The hours passed and still no call...
The suspense was killing me so I thought I would call them myself...
"I'm really sorry but the Area Manager has said that we can't take you on due to your unspent conviction it's 'company policy'. I would've set you on tomorrow"
I have served my sentence inside but this sentence that I'm serving on the outside is 10x worse! When will society forgive me? How is this fair?
Those are my thoughts of the day, tomorrow is a new day
27th June 2020
Well a LOT has happened since my last entry in both my life and the world in general.
Let’s start with myself! After fighting what seemed like an endless battle trying to find work with a double handicap (an unspent conviction and Covid-19). I finally did it! I got myself a job! I’m now officially a gardener and I’ve been thoroughly enjoying it. This had a MASSIVE impact on my mental health and well-being, which lifted my spirits beyond belief. The day I got the job I felt on top of the world despite all the madness that was going on around me.
It’s been nice to get some joy out of life especially as there is so much negativity and hatred going around at the moment.
I have to talk about the obvious situation that’s occurring around the world especially in the UK and the US. The whole Black Lives Matter movement dividing the nation. I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and try not to judge on this. What saddens me is the amount violence on the streets at the minute. Punch ups, stabbings, shootings. How can humans do this to each other so easily? I thought I had left prison and the violence behind me, apparently it followed me out of those dates and became contagious to the whole nation. I really do hope these people find peace.
The weather has been amazing lately which you would think I should be happy about right? Sadly not. When ever the weather is glorious it throws me back to being cooped up in a stuffy little cell last summer with no window, airflow, fan feeling like I was being cooked alive. My thoughts are always with the lads who are more than likely going through the same suffering right now!
I’m going to end this entry on a positive note though. I only have 4 weeks until my electronic tag comes off and I’m no longer confined to my house between the hours of 7pm-7am. It should fall in line with lockdown restrictions being lifted which means hopefully me and my girlfriend will get a real date night together, one of the things that I’ve craved the most.
Jack - @UkPrisoner