I am an introvert, that becomes an extrovert in front of a few people that I’m comfortable with. Always trying to find the true meaning of things and my own life, it feels as if I’m on a never ending path of discovery which is both exhausting and exciting.
30th June 2020
The lockdown brought on by Covid-19 happened just as I had decided to make a big life change and resign from my current job (after completing the resignation process of 3 months) and starting a new, more dynamic role with an architecture company. Big life changes have been a common occurrence for me, leaving my home country to move to New York at the age of 19, the decisions made to end various long term relationships, deciding to move to Germany for a short stint, deciding to move back to my home country at the age of 28.. and the never ending struggle of finding the right job / career path that gives the most in return in terms of experience, knowledge and recognition... but these decisions are always followed by daunting doubt ... my friends say I appear completely confident when making said decisions, but in reality, internally my mind is in chaos and a whirlwind of “is this the right decision, or is it going to spiral into a negative ending? Vs is this going to put my life trajectory into a positive path?” ... having been indecisive all my life, it’s strange to be constantly making what seems to be big life decisions.. Anyhow, the lockdown happened just as I was beginning to second guess and question my choices..and it helped to have the space to process all my thoughts. The insecurities, the fears, the optimistic hope.. all of it in my own time. It was as if the world slowed down just enough for me to find my balance again. I explored all the things that I’ve had no time for; painting, playing the guitar, singing.. baking.. I spent a lot of time with my dad, and Netflix and popcorn time..
It was a strange 2.5 months.. and as much as I wish we didn’t have to experience the pandemic, it also made me realize the importance of hitting pause and hitting reset, and taking the time to readjust to the various situations life throws at us.